When It’s Time To LET GO: 8 Toxic Relationships You Should Leave Behind

by | Jul 14, 2018 | Healthy Living, Habits for Growth

When It’s Time To LET GO: 8 Toxic Relationships You Should Leave Behind

Relationships can be a challenge to navigate, and often, the longer we’ve known someone, the harder it can be to see when one has become a toxic presence in our lives.

Most people often hold onto unhappy relationships in the name of loyalty, meanwhile one of parties may be suffering. While understanding how to communicate assertively and compassionately, compromise, and work things out are critical life skills, sometimes we need to learn how to simply let go of relationships that have run their course and no longer serves us.

Here are eight different signs of toxic personalities you may consider releasing from your life today.

Toxic Personality #1: Negative/Pessimistic people

Sometimes the people that we love the most can bring the most negativity into our lives. If you know in your heart that your partner, loved one, or friend is weighing you down with their negative energy, it is important to distance yourself from them. You can love someone from a distance if you feel that they are no longer contributing to your life in a positive way. Remember, if someone is not contributing to your happiness by bringing you peace, clarity, or support, they are merely distracting you from reaching your next level and it may be time to let them go.

Toxic Personality #2:  Hypercritical people

Constructive criticism can be helpful if you want to grow and evolve. And we want a healthy amount of accountability within our relationships in order to live with integrity. However, if you find yourself receiving more judgement than support, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. Criticism should always be constructive, not badgering, obsessive, or abusive. How do you recognize the difference between constructive critique and judgement? Pay attention to the way you feel. Do you feel supported and encouraged, or do you feel nit-picked and belittled? If there is a presence in your life that seems to exist solely to point out your flaws, it’s time to remove that presence from your environment.

Toxic Personality #3: Apathetic people

While it is important to beware of people who are hyper-critical, it is also crucial to watch out for those who are apathetic. You don’t want to invest your care or time into someone who doesn’t make an effort to reciprocate. If you sense that your partner isn’t making time for your relationship, doesn’t bother to work through disagreements, or has to be reminded a million times of your needs, they may not care enough to make you a priority. In this case, it’s best to say goodbye and find someone who is excited to have you around.

Toxic Personality #4: Selfish people

As human beings, our number one priority should always be to take care of ourselves. When you are taken care of, mind, body, and spirit, you then have the energy and the resources from which to care for other people and things. However, some people operate under the illusion that the entire world revolves around them. Their needs, wants, and demands always come first, leaving their friends, partners, and loved ones starved for affection and support. If someone in your life is consistently taking your time, effort, or energy for granted, you may want to cut your losses and move on from the relationship. Only go where your energy is matched.

Toxic Personality #5: People who never learn from their mistakes

Patience is integral to relationships, but at the same time, you should be able to see clear growth and forward progress. Do you find that you and your partner have the same fight, time and time again? Do they promise to change, but never follow-through? If the answer is yes, you may be expending more energy than the relationship is worth.

Toxic Personality #6: Envious people

Unfortunately, sometimes the people closest to us secretly want to see us fall. When we let our own light shine, it may threaten people who are struggling with their own insecurities. They don’t understand that the Universe is abundant and that there is enough joy, love, and success to go around, and so they take your thriving as a threat to their own possibility for happiness. The purpose of any relationship is to be able to lean on one another for encouragement and support. If you feel envy or jealousy coming from your partner, that’s not a safe space for growth or progress.

Toxic Personality #7: People with a victim-mentality

Some people grow very attached to the victim-mentality, which is essentially the notion that life is against them, they are cursed, damned, or permanently damaged in some way. Even when life deals you a bad hand, it is critical to be able to cling to hope, and channel that energy in a positive direction. If you find yourself attached to someone who is unready to let go of their victim-mentality, sadly, they may only be a detriment to your own forward progress. You cannot force someone to stand up or demand better for themselves, so the best thing to do may be to part ways and wish them continued strength in their individual journey.

Toxic Personality #8: Closed-Minded people

Finally, there are people who are simply unwilling to be flexible in their perception or navigation of the world. They adhere closely to their own ideas, even when they’re not necessarily the healthiest or most effective. Close-minded people will reject your attempts to offer support, guidance, or suggestions because their ego is on a constant mission to protect itself, and it will defend that inflated sense of superiority fiercely and bitterly. With close-minded people, it is impossible to reach a point of compromise, and the best thing to do is to move on.

Just because someone exhibits toxic behavior, it doesn’t mean they are a bad person. It does, however, mean that they are not vibrating at a high enough frequency to contribute to your life and happiness in any sustainable way. Leaving people behind may hurt deeply at first, but in the long run, learning to let go of toxic relationships is the healthiest move you can make for yourself.

Remember, you are allowed to leave when relationships no longer feel healthy.  


Dr. Logan Jones is a counselor in Manhattan. He provides therapy for anxiety, depression, and trauma, as well as performance coaching to help people feel more confident and self-assured. If you are struggling with intimacy issues in your interpersonal relationships, contact Dr. Logan Jones today for a complimentary consultation.

Follow Dr. Logan Jones on Instagram: @drloganjones

Dr. Logan Jones is a psychologist in New York City. He utilizes a combination of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and insight-oriented psychodynamic therapy. His approach helps New Yorkers relieve symptoms and gain new insight.

No matter what you’re going through, whether depression, anxiety, or PTSD, there is hope. If you are looking for therapy in NYC his psychotherapy practice is located in central Manhattan near Flatiron, West Village, NoMad Chelsea, or Union Square.

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